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Random Ramblings
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Reel to real
Scene 10, take 2
Boy walks to where girl is and as he is walking, girl notices him and face lights up with glee.
She starts running towards him, and wraps her arms around him for a hug.
That just happened today to me – the “boy” was me, and the “girl” is my baby cousin. It put a huge smile on my heart when she did that. Especially since she was playing with her friends when I turned up; the fact that for that moment I was more important than playing, which is a huge deal for a little girl.
That little one also was dying to accompany me when I was going to buy some things for the dinner – had a nice talk and walk with her to the store. Lazing on the couch with her on my lap, with her finger inter-linking with mine on her tummy (she put my arms to rest around her) just felt complete.
I miss the little rascal often – coz when she was much younger, she stayed at my grandma’s house during the week when her parents worked. So I spent a lot of time with her then. She is probably the second most important family member in my life. With my hectic schedule and her house being so far away – it gets a bit hard her often.
And so the last straw has drop this year.
The past few years I’ve been nagged and questioned by my parents and aunts and various other people about my relationship status / me getting married soon / bringing home someone. Yes, it doesn’t help that I’ve never brought “home” anyone in all my life – everyone is just even more fascinated over my personal life. But they have never affected me. I’ll just find some interesting answer, and shrug it off immediately.
This time is different, so different. My grandma has finally said it. She’s worried I’ll become an old maid. She’s worried no one wants me. And because it comes from her, it has affected me. I don’t like her worrying about me and it hurts me that I can’t bring someone so she will be happy.
You see, I’ve never brought back someone coz the whole notion of it is fairly unnerving. Having two people be under the scrutiny of family, can really freak one out – and this isn’t even during the Lunar New Year period, where the pressure is increased at least tenfold.
So for now, I’m going to feel bad that I can’t be a good granddaughter – as too me, having my grandma unhappy or worrying over me, constitutes to being a bad one. (And no, I will not bring any guy home, just to appease everyone. Lying to my grandma that way, is worse than anything else.)
Boy walks to where girl is and as he is walking, girl notices him and face lights up with glee.
She starts running towards him, and wraps her arms around him for a hug.
That just happened today to me – the “boy” was me, and the “girl” is my baby cousin. It put a huge smile on my heart when she did that. Especially since she was playing with her friends when I turned up; the fact that for that moment I was more important than playing, which is a huge deal for a little girl.
That little one also was dying to accompany me when I was going to buy some things for the dinner – had a nice talk and walk with her to the store. Lazing on the couch with her on my lap, with her finger inter-linking with mine on her tummy (she put my arms to rest around her) just felt complete.
I miss the little rascal often – coz when she was much younger, she stayed at my grandma’s house during the week when her parents worked. So I spent a lot of time with her then. She is probably the second most important family member in my life. With my hectic schedule and her house being so far away – it gets a bit hard her often.
And so the last straw has drop this year.
The past few years I’ve been nagged and questioned by my parents and aunts and various other people about my relationship status / me getting married soon / bringing home someone. Yes, it doesn’t help that I’ve never brought “home” anyone in all my life – everyone is just even more fascinated over my personal life. But they have never affected me. I’ll just find some interesting answer, and shrug it off immediately.
This time is different, so different. My grandma has finally said it. She’s worried I’ll become an old maid. She’s worried no one wants me. And because it comes from her, it has affected me. I don’t like her worrying about me and it hurts me that I can’t bring someone so she will be happy.
You see, I’ve never brought back someone coz the whole notion of it is fairly unnerving. Having two people be under the scrutiny of family, can really freak one out – and this isn’t even during the Lunar New Year period, where the pressure is increased at least tenfold.
So for now, I’m going to feel bad that I can’t be a good granddaughter – as too me, having my grandma unhappy or worrying over me, constitutes to being a bad one. (And no, I will not bring any guy home, just to appease everyone. Lying to my grandma that way, is worse than anything else.)
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