Random Ramblings

Days of supposed importance, days that have a special significance to me, days which remind me of certain things in my past – all seem to be floating by without much ado. Have I become numb to the days? No, I don’t think so. Now that I think back upon, I wish I had done something or was able to do something.

It feels like I’m just monotonously going through the days of my life – with no feeling or thought; which really scares me. Where is the passion, the drive, and the hunger that I have (or has it become used to have)?

It doesn’t help that my friend is half way across the world and it is like this huge gaping hole in me. It’s really hard not to have the person you can talk to best around. You feel like you are missing out on each other’s life and no matter what, letters, phone calls, online messenger and emails will never make up for.

The end of year is approaching and instead of gaiety, I’m feeling this huge sense of dread. I haven’t really enjoyed the season I used to love so much for three to four years running already. Will it change this year? Or will it end up the same as the other significant days this year?