Random Ramblings

Question: What do you get when two women (completely stressed out from work) go to Ikea for "urgent" shopping?
Answer: An onslaught of hilarious antics with a lot of sexual references.

1. It all starts at dinner… Counting the number on the constantly increasing visitors board, the two ponder on millions and billions—and state this utterly brilliant line “387 million sounds a lot more than 3.8 billion,” continuing with a intellectual discussion of the next in line – trillion, gazillion, as well as trying to figure out how much each is. “What’s in a gazillion? If a gigabyte is a thousand, then a gazillion is a thousand zillions,” was definitely the award winning line for the discussion. The stunned look on both the faces was more than enough to send anyone laughing till the hit the floor!
   
2. Rolling around Work Ikea on two very cool looking chairs – accompanied by loud guffaws and strange stares from a lady nearby.
3. Exclaiming very loudly in the bedroom section that “we should get that bed, its so us” with a lady, who is obviously too straight laced standing near us. If we were flowers, we might have just withered over and died because of her stare.
4. Finding two sex props being sold at Ikea—One, a bed perfect for handcuffs or satin rope (anyone wants to buy it for me?) where she promptly declared that fact, to a couple of kids running around. Two, an add-on to the bed that would give balance during sex a whole new meaning. Perfect for interesting positions and some leverage! We were going to do a test-run, but the kids got in the way again (no wonder married couples with kids are always so tense)
5. Yelling “woah” pretty loudly when she flips the mirror to the magnifying side and sees her “oh I can scare the dead” face .
6. Two grown women playing with a snakey dragon with wings wrapped around her neck and a “Lamm”
7. Reaching for some hangers and almost falling into the box—head first. Obviously the bimbo-ness reappeared when we tried to figure out how to stack the boxes… and someone couldn’t figure out how to un-stack them, after I stacked them.
8. When trying to screw in a light bulb to see if the size is right conversation takes a sharp turn (ok, so not so sharp) to a more non-child friendly zone.

Speaker 1 - It’s not screwing right

Speaker 2 – Try screwing harder!

Being women… we obviously need to check out if the bulb works, so we trooped off testing station where I tried so hard to screw it in, cry out “It refuses to let me screw it in!” and when we finally manage to get it on, both of us scream “WOAH” and recoil from the light hitting our eyes – such bimbo-ness we exhibit.

And off we go, to try out the light bulb design on a working light… which more insaneness ensues.

Speaker 1 – OWW! It’s damn hot!

Speaker 2 – Duh, it has been on.

Speaker 1 – Oh shuddup, it is hard to screw it the other way

Speaker 2 – * major laughing fit*

Speaker 1 – Ahhhhh there we go, it’s coming out now

Speaker 2 – Quick quick, screw this one in.

After we returned the display back to its original state:

Speaker 1 – Now that was hot

Speaker 2 – …screw

Speaker 1 - * mumbles under breath* I wish I could have the hawt screw

If you are not falling off your chair, with an uncontrollable laughing fit, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?

You must have left your funny bone somewhere!

Of coz, by the end of the shopping expedition, we were already on some self-induce high; we started texting a friend of ours while waiting in the seriously long taxi queue.

Us – You should have come to Ikea with us. Some girl thought we were lesbians

Him – Damn, I’m going to be dreaming of the two of you tonight

Us - Two lesbian girls getting it on

Us – From hawt discussions of hawt screams to finding a bed that works perfectly with handcuffs and a sex prop at Ikea!

Him – Damn….

Us – Two girls are better than none

* rotfl* It was an amazing night to say the least. Who wants to go shopping with two hawt crazy babes to Ikea next time?