Random Ramblings

Recently, I was on a weekend trip with some of my friends. It was fairly difficult time for me. I tend to associate things to points or happenings in my life. So I’m easily put in a morose mood, since there are a lot of triggers to my numerous memories.

Throughout the whole weekend, I tried my utmost best to stay cheery. I guess I overreacted in a situation - I was already reaching a fairly low point; and with some people demanding that I should listen to them pushed me over the edge. I know I put some of them in an awkward situation - but then again I was never one to let other people make decisions for me, especially since I've stated my preference quite clearly.

Coz I forgot to call and wish my sister on her birthday - I managed to find some time after the big dinner to call her. As I speak to her, I realise to my chagrin - the little devil is of age. Hit with that realisation and that I'm so removed from my family, it only spirals me further into my own shell. My sis happened to be with her godma (my god-sis) at that point of time, and told me to go and visit my godma. At which I reach my breaking point. I've yet to come to terms with the passing of my godpa - so I wasn't able to deal with the reminder of that period.

When one of my friends comes to get me for the mini party going on; after I had hung up the phone, I was not in the party or talking mood so I just lied on the bed and let my mind wander… it really wasn’t the best of things and I was just headed straight into a depressive state. So I picked myself up, put on a happy face and joined the party. Probably wasn’t my best performance, but hell, at least I tried right?

To the people who put up with my morose mood… thank you