Random Ramblings

Everyday seems to have me trying out a new mission, which is almost impossible. Just the other day, I had two hours to source and purchase a couple of items needed that I had to travel out of the area of my office just to locate the said items – as after an hour and a half, I still couldn’t locate it and was getting desperate.

Well, isn’t it many a person’s dream to be an agent (mine is better, since I have an almost zero chance of getting shot at). Maybe with this kind of job experience, I can switch industries after this.

Labels: ramblings, Source of Life

It seems time is a consideration and therefore I am not sure if there is enough time for me to sort out my thoughts before I make the decision. One might argue that since it betters some people’s lives – it can’t be all that bad. But as of now, I think which either decision I pick, I will be on the losing end regardless.

I guess then the question should be and is – Am I willing to make the sacrifice?

Labels: advent, ramblings

For no reason besides me being my father’s daughter, I was scolded as if I was a slave by a relative. A minute later, the same relative was utterly concerned over my cousin cooking – as if it is the first time in history someone is – and told my cousin to be careful not to be scalded.

Earlier in the day, my landlord’s family was nice enough to call for me and wait for me to come down to have a mini-reunion lunch. A few hours later, I get treated no better than a slave. The differences are so marked; even a blind person would have seen it.

I have tried my best to try and help to keep my immediate family together, and when I realised it was a fruitless endeavor I chose to save my sanity and my relationship with my extended family. For the past few years, I have jumped through hoops just to be accepted with the extended. But yet, I’m still the one that is faulted. Just because I am my father’s daughter, does not mean I am a free-for-all target.

My brother doesn’t take care of the immediate family, just as I don’t – but it is me who is questioned, who is looked at like I am wrong to live on my own. I have given up a job I feel so passionately about, a field that I have worked hard to get some recognition, all for a bit more money so I can contribute to my grandmother. I make time to spend with her and talk to my relatives. I’ve tried my best to have them see me as part of the family, in hopes that they will just call me to join in family gathering throughout the year. But yet still I sit on the sidelines, awaiting their (non-forthcoming) approval.

It’s not like I have not tried my best to take care of my siblings. I am also at the end of the day, the child; not the parent. I have given up so much for them, and it all has been for nothing. Everyone has limits, but they don’t seem to care if I can handle it. My brother is given immunity, with no questions asked – why is it so hard for them to award me a little bit of sympathy. The faults of parents are not mine and the mistakes of my siblings are theirs to bear; I have my own to mistakes to live with. I have tried my best and failed – and I have already been duly penalised.

Am I to be punished for the rest of my life for walking away? Am I forever bound to repay the sins of parents and siblings? Am I not human, that I don’t deserve some respect or attention? Am I so hard to love and accept?

Labels: advent, ramblings

I didn’t turn off my mp3 player and was walking around the house with it still playing in my ear. The little PC was looking for attention and for some reason, I let her listen with me. It just so happened at that moment, a slow song came on and the two of us swirled slowly around the living room leaning against each other just enjoying the moment. Even after we sat down, we lied with our heads near each other on the comfy sofa.

Recently without prompting, PC kissed me. On three different occasions, on three different days! Time flies so quickly. Will there be many more moments for me to cherish before these days end?

Labels: advent, ramblings

What am I going to do until then? It has only been a few hours and I already feel so utterly lost!

Labels: ramblings

In my new place, here is the list of happenings, in no particular order

• I have worked late three out of six days (it’s not boding well)
• Had lunch at my desk (it’s seriously not looking good)
• Forgot the unit number of my new office, even though I had checked it the night before.
• Found my coffee supplier and they have learnt my order by the fourth day – pretty impressive I must say (but I think they got it wrong today)
• Screwed up the phone greeting twice (First time in my life I have to answer phones with such flair) and both times it was my boss (can I get any unluckier?)
• I missed an important appointment because of work
• For one entire week – I had unhealthy food. Then again, I started this week with unhealthy food. Argh! I need to find some healthier choices to balance it out

Labels: ramblings, Source of Life

Now I wonder if I’ve chosen the right path, if I have overestimated my capabilities. Maybe this was a wrong choice – but I’ll have to bear with it for the time being regardless.

Hopefully I will work it out soon.

Labels: ramblings

The first time I went to crab shack – we were so excited and hungry the whole table forgot to take pictures. So when I finally went to enjoy another crustacean dinner, I knew I had to keep that thought above the hunger pangs and lure of wonderful food.

GR and I decided (after very long I might add because she couldn't make up her mind) to go all out and have a crab bucket – with eight flower crabs!! It came with 2 small sides and crab croquettes; extremely worth the $22 bucks I say. Their chill is also perfect—sweet and not too spicy so it won’t overwhelm the crab.

I was happily cracking and slurping up all the wonderful crab meat and my fingers were all numb by the time we were done. We later found out, that we had finished most of their crabs and they had to turn a few late comers away.

Not only do they have good food, they have amazing service. The first time when I ate there – I had a short chitchat with the boss about the food and how I had heard of them. With the number of people that seem to eat there, I was genuinely stunned as he remembered me when I was placing my order. I guess it shows that they two brothers (I think they are brothers) care so much for their venture, that even as they slave at the stove to produce the wonderful meals – they also ensure that their customers are well taken care off.

I'm hoping that they will open somewhere else soon – maybe their own restaurant or café instead of being inside a coffee shop.

Anyone else want to go have a satisfying meal of crab? I know I'm looking forward eagerly to my next trip.

Perfect Ending

You can find these wonderful people at 227 Upper Thomson Road. Tel: 9451 9040

A blank page waits for me to start writing, and at least a line was written today. With the new environment, I have a smorgasbord of choices and I am undeniably looking forward to it. I have yet to find my morning usual, but I’m sure I’ll be successful soon (I pray and hope its tomorrow).

My head hurts due to all the jargon I had to wrap my mind around. The bright side is, I have a day or so of quiet solitude – or somewhat solitude – to get up to speed on things.

Wish me luck and that I do not gain weight!