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Random Ramblings
Friday, August 19, 2005
Dynamics, interesting concept
Just recently I was over my uncle’s house with my cousins who was back from Aussie land for a family thingamgig.
All 4 siblings were there – with the kids of the eldest child, partner of the third and me. While having dinner and waiting to start our mahjong game – we just sat at the dining table and chitchatted. Rather, they chitchatted, I enjoyed watching the dynamics of the four. It was continuously flowing conversation, peppered with giggles, laughs, matter-of-fact statements and also our family tradition of being a tad bit corny and always jabbing each other. From one topic to another, some with absolutely no linkages – but yet, everyone was comfortable and you could hear the love and concern in all the jabbings.
While watching and participating often – my thoughts often flew to my own siblings. I bet that we probably couldn’t accomplish that. With awkward silences and harsh tones – ours would be a meeting of unheard of proportions; might even start WWIII. But such is the familiarity and family I tend to crave so much, however might never get. In some ways, I think the four of us have floated to far apart and in some way, its mainly my fault. Most of the animosity will be directed at me anyway. None of them know what I have done and I guess they’ll never know.
I’ve forged my own solitary path away from them for so long – I’ve accepted that sometimes things are not meant to be. Tho, I will always be eternally grateful for the cousins – some by blood, others by marriage - I have that still are around for me, that give some semblance of a family life and for my friends who always reminds me that I will never walk alone no matter what happens. And for that, I am blessed and elated.
All 4 siblings were there – with the kids of the eldest child, partner of the third and me. While having dinner and waiting to start our mahjong game – we just sat at the dining table and chitchatted. Rather, they chitchatted, I enjoyed watching the dynamics of the four. It was continuously flowing conversation, peppered with giggles, laughs, matter-of-fact statements and also our family tradition of being a tad bit corny and always jabbing each other. From one topic to another, some with absolutely no linkages – but yet, everyone was comfortable and you could hear the love and concern in all the jabbings.
While watching and participating often – my thoughts often flew to my own siblings. I bet that we probably couldn’t accomplish that. With awkward silences and harsh tones – ours would be a meeting of unheard of proportions; might even start WWIII. But such is the familiarity and family I tend to crave so much, however might never get. In some ways, I think the four of us have floated to far apart and in some way, its mainly my fault. Most of the animosity will be directed at me anyway. None of them know what I have done and I guess they’ll never know.
I’ve forged my own solitary path away from them for so long – I’ve accepted that sometimes things are not meant to be. Tho, I will always be eternally grateful for the cousins – some by blood, others by marriage - I have that still are around for me, that give some semblance of a family life and for my friends who always reminds me that I will never walk alone no matter what happens. And for that, I am blessed and elated.
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