Random Ramblings

I’ve just realized PC (my goddaughter) can walk; albeit a little wobbly.

The only problem, she is afraid of walking without someone holding on to her. It seems when she was on holiday, she was happily pattering around the hotel room as it was carpeted.

Over time, I've grown more apt on heels and I can even run in some of them. They have become higher and thinner.

As I told a friend today - when I started work at my current job I wore sneakers and one and a half inch heels, max. Today I had on four inch heels that were thin (but not stiletto thin) and was happily striding around the office. These days most of my heels are about two and a half to three inches.

In some sense, I’ve surprised myself. I never expected to be able to walk on these kind of heels. My next challenge would probably be to wear stiletto heels as till this day, they give me the creeps.

But I do wonder, do I really walk nicely in them? Or does it give me an un-ladylike posture and gait?

Last week, my friend mentioned in passing the shoe sale at Suntec. I waved it off saying, that it was a ploy to get people to go into Suntec as its empty as can be (EW Suntec has a “IMF Special”).

As I was craving for potato, I trooped down to Bugis to satisfy my little craving and stupidly thought “Why don’t I swing by Suntec since it is quite late already - Shouldn’t be too crowded or too much military.”

What happened after which is a little bit of a blur. But I have three shoe boxes sitting in my room to get some hints towards the answer. Within half an hour or so (I can guarantee it was less than an hour) I had purchased three pairs of shoes. Swinging the bag gaily home, I had a strange bounce in my step.

Today, when I went out for lunch – my friend and I decided we deserved a Starbucks for all our hard work that we have been putting in, the weather was killing—ARGH, who needs an excuse for caffeine. So the two of trooped across to our friendly (work) neighbour Starbucks for our fix. But as with any woman, the lure of shoes caught us first. The minute I walked into the store, I spied these gorgeous black strappy heels. I just had to try it on! While my friend was trying on her shoes, I was happily standing around in those shoes to give my comments on my friend’s shoes. The angel and devil sat on my shoulders debating on whether another pair of black shoes was utterly necessary. I’m not sure who won—depends which side of the fence you are on I suppose—but I was paying for my shoes pretty soon after.

All the way back to the office, and for a while after, my friend and I were giggling and I definitely had a bounce in my step again from our lunch escapade.

Watching someone walk away can be one of the hardest things to do. Yet not being able to watch the person that matters so much to you walk away is infinitely harder. You don’t know why they are leaving, you just know you have this huge gaping hole, that hurts – and the hurt won’t go away.

Even if you do know why they are leaving, it hurts so bad that they refuse to have anything to do with you. Then human instinct kicks in; you build a wall around yourself to prevent being hurt again. You sit alone behind that wall nursing the pain, licking your wounds, letting the anger taken over you. The anger grows, it festers, it overwhelms, it strengths the wall so that you won’t hurt again.

Sometimes some people manage to weaken the wall. For a while, you start to think that this person means you no harm and then it happens. There is a wound in your wall cause by the person you placed your trust in. And the cycle begins all over again. Just that your resolve to protect yourself gets stronger, and the wall gets harder.

After days of being out of action at work, I’m finally back – at least physically.

My brain feels like its wrapped in cotton, and I find it so hard to focus or process anything. As it is, I have tons of work to catch up on; this light-headedness is doing me no good at all. I’m not looking forward to the rest of my week at all! It’s going to be difficult.

In other news, after not seeing PC for so many days, the little monkey missed me. Instead of drinking her milk in the morning, she squirmed out of the helper’s arms just so I could cuddle her.